Morning Glory Hallelujah...Muffins! (Recipe below)

As much as I love to bake, I'm finding it strange that this is the first recipe I'm posting a recipe...but hey, there's a first time for everything! I know muffin recipes don't typically have a "Hallelujah!" at the end, but as good as these were, I felt they merited that.

I first had this deeelish creation at one of my favorite coffee shops, Sames & Cook, located just down the road in the heart of Mt. Gilead. This charming, beautifully preserved vintage cafe was my after school oasis in the spring as I blocked "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe". The carb and pastry loving side of myself would always scream "GET A PASTRY!!!" as I gazed longingly into the clear case on the counter, but I managed to obstain (probably when I still thought the illusions of a bikini body were possible for this summer).

Until last week.

As I watched my friend pay for a couple of saliva-inducing baked goods, I knew I was done. I had to get this muffin that was staring at me with its beady little raisiny eyes...I just had to. Even it's name, "Morning Glory", implied that it was a true delight, and it WAS. I could taste the different spices, like cinnamon and allspice, and I loved the chunks of walnuts and slivers of carrots sprinkled throughout the muffin. The MG's (Morning Glory, obviously) also had coconut flakes in them, but I couldn't even taste them, which was another plus for me. I took half of it home, intending to share it with my carb lovin' man but as soon as I put it in the fridge, I promptly took it back out and ate the rest. Oops, my bad...sorry babe.

I knew I HAD to figure out how to make these myself, because then both Ben and I could have our own muffins, no sharing required! I thought they were a recipe that was original to the coffee shop, but when I googled  them I was super excited to see that there were about 874,904839 Morning Glory  Muffin recipes! And bonus- they're HEALTHY. Many of the recipes sounded similar, but I was looking for a recipe that included carrot, coconut, and walnuts. I found two out of the three ingredients in this recipe from Eatingwell.com. Full of good things like whole wheat flour, coconut oil, fresh carrots and raisins, it would be a perfect breakfast...paired with a hot cup o' joe, of course! Best of all was that my Texan gave them a HUGE thumbs up!

All of these things are great for your body!

Coconut oil...good for SO many things.

Molasses and honey, honey!

Chopping/Grating apples=not hard.

Grating carrots=HORRIBLE. Why is this the worst thing ever??

Put it all together and what do you get?

A puppy! Oops, I meant to say...

Muffins, glorious muffins!

Mmm....

Chunky and healthy, yet NOT dense!

Mr. Ben gives it two thumbs up! Warm carbs are the way to this man's heart.

(I adapted the recipe just a smidge, so I've written it out below with the changes I made. I doubled the original recipe in order to make enough to put in my large muffin tin, which yielded 12 large muffins).

Morning Glory Muffins
2 cups whole-wheat or white whole-wheat flour
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats, plus 4 tablespoons for garnish
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
4 large eggs
2 cups unsweetened applesauce
2/3 cup honey
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup coconut oil, melted if necessary (see Tip)
2 cups shredded carrots
2 cups shredded or chopped apples
1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut, plus 4 tablespoons for garnish
1 cup walnuts (optional)
1 cup raisins (or dried cranberries, dates...whatever dried fruit suits your fancy)

1).  Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 12-cup muffin tin with cooking spray
2). Whisk whole-wheat flour, 1/2 cup oats, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and allspice in a medium bowl.
3). Whisk eggs, applesauce, honey and vanilla in a large bowl. Whisk in coconut oil. Gently stir in the flour mixture just until moistened. Fold in carrots, apples, 1 cup coconut, walnuts, and raisins.
4). Divide the batter among the muffin cups. Sprinkle with the remaining 2 tablespoons each oats and coconut.
5).Bake the muffins until they spring back when lightly touched and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only moist crumbs attached, 30 to 35 minutes (mine only took 25 minutes!). Let stand in the pan for 10 minutes before turning out onto a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.


Happy muffin-ing!

D.
 

Hope.

Sometimes I feel like it's really hard for me to write things exactly as I want to say them, because I fear how it will sound, or if people will be offended or hurt, or if they'll think I'm just complaining about something. But you know what, I have spent much of my life "people-pleasing" or doing what OTHER people think I should do, so I'm just going to go ahead and write something that's been on my heart and not look back.

You simply cannot deny that there is a lot of pain and sadness in this world. It seems like everywhere you look, you see images of children dying in the streets, terrorists shooting down planes, diseases ravaging third world countries--I could probably go on for days. On a personal level, within this past year, I have seen mommies lose little ones, my friends lose loved ones, and wonderful people get horrible sicknesses. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I've found that I cry a lot more, and situations really have a tendency to touch my heart and stay on my mind. I was watching the Today show last Sunday, and they were showing the memorial service of three beautiful children from Australia who had been on flight MH17. Weeping and completely heartbroken, their mother talked about how after she found out their flight had gone down, she went outside and lifted her hands up to the sky and screamed in disbelief. And that for the rest of her life, she would always be reaching for them. My eyes filled with tears instantly, and my heart hurt for this woman. Why should a mother have to experience that? Where is the hope in that terrible situation?

The small "issues" in my own life are nothing in comparison to what those around me have been experiencing lately, but it is shamefully easy to get caught up in them. Ben and I have been waiting on a situation at his work to play out (hopefully for the good), and for his crazy schedule to change. You're probably thinking "Those are the "issues" you've been dealing with? Really, Danielle?". They look so trite written out, yet I would have to answer "yes" to that. There have been many moments when I've cried out to God with my frustrations and my questions, and I know my attitude affected Ben. Combine that with his sheer exhaustion, and you don't get two very loving people.

But I am (slowly) learning something. Within every terrible situation, every frustration, every loss, every dark hole that has no way out...there is hope. It may be very, very small, but it is there. When something bad happens, hope is the first thing to go, and it can be really hard to find again. We have all been there, and we may be there right now. I don't know why God is allowing your heart to be broken, but I want you to know that I am believing there is a purpose in it. Often, when we're in the midst of pain, we can't see and end to it, and we certainly don't see the purpose or the point. God and I have had a few heart to hearts over the past several weeks, and He has slowly turned my doubt of His plan and goodness into a dwindle of hope. He's encouraged my heart greatly through worship and song, the preaching of his Word, my own quiet time with Him, or seeing His light shine through someone who is experiencing pain. Another thing I've found that has helped greatly has been to encourage and pray for others, even if I feel like I'm the one in need of encouragement. When I take the focus off of myself (come on, you know it's easier said that done) and direct my focus towards someone who is hurting or struggling, God comes through in big ways. It's crazy how sometimes someone is on your mind, and you come across a passage in the Bible and it jumps out at you, and you immediately know it was meant for that person who you've been thinking about. God is so very good like that.

I've also been learning that is He is SO much bigger and stronger than anything we face, no matter how big or how small. He doesn't abandon us in our times of need, He walks with us, and He wants our pain and our suffering to point us back to Him. When it's all over, and hope begins to enter our hearts, He wants us to say "God, YOU did that. YOU brought me through that valley. YOU didn't abandon me. YOU love me." Because then your situation could touch someone else, and allow them to see the glory of the Lord. His beautiful, everlasting, perfect glory.

God will not allow your heart to be broken forever. He will not allow your frustrations to last forever. As frustrated as I am sometimes that I don't get to spend time with Ben, there will be a day when we will have all the time in the world to spend together, as we praise and worship our God. The lost time with loved ones will be made up, the reaching arms will be filled, and sickness won't overtake us. All of our hopes will be fulfilled, and it will be a beautiful day.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him..."

Lamentations 3:19-25

With hope,

Danielle

24 (Fun?) Things to Do and Not Do When You Have Been Vortexed.

I go against my own rule (#24) doing this, so feel free to judge me.

If you currently live in a frozen tundra, formerly know as Ohio/75% of the USA, and you have had more snow days than school days in the past month (sorry/not sorry non-teachers), then this post is for you. Or if you're living in a state that's 75 and marvelous, this could also be for you, because it will remind you to pray for those stuck at what FEELS like the North Pole. (Currently, it feels like -21 degrees here. At least that's better than -32, right?)

As I've been slowly slipping into cabin fever/crazy town, I've been formulating this list in my mind. It's inspired by all of the lists people are currently posting on Facebook such as "150 Ways to Use Coconut Oil", "17 Ways to Tell He Really Loves You", and "37 Signs You're TRULY alive" (what happened to breathing?), to name a few. I mean come on, it's getting a liiiitle ridicaluss. So I've decided that instead of trying to beat 'em, I'm gonna join 'em, and provide you with a list of my own. None of these things have any guarantee to make your life better or worse in any way, but if you find yourself Vortexted and crazy, then you can certainly give these fun(?) things a try!

1). Start watching a TV series on Netflix that you've always wanted to watch...for me, it's been 30 Rock. Up to episode 76, baby!

2). Write a blog post about everything you're doing.

3). Clean. Or at least make a valiant effort.  This may not be fun but it sure keeps you moving and warm!

4). Wear a pedometer and get your 10,000 steps in by going up and down the stairs, jumping up and down while singing a song in your head, and/or run around the kitchen island several times.

5). Finish (or attempt to) all of those crafts you've started, but then forgot about. 

6). Go through your closets and find those ugly clothes that you swear you'll wear someday and give them to Goodwill. YOU WILL NOT WEAR THEM. You may also want to get out your shorts and dresses in an effort to coax the warm weather out of its hiding place. 

7). Make more food than 2 people will ever eat in their lifetime, let alone the next week. (P.S. Ovens are WARM). 

8). Dream up new kinds of cheesecake...but then realize you can't make them, because there is no way on the Lord's white and snowy earth you're going to the grocery store!

9). Drink between 2 and 12 cups of coffee throughout the day. I would say "any warm beverage of your choice", but no, these are DEFINITELY coffee days.

10). Look for snow rollers...from the comfort and warmth of your kitchen window.

11). Live vicariously through the photos of your friends' vacations to tropical locations...except the ones who were on the Neurovirus Cruise. Nobody wants that.

12). Go through old photos on your computer and reminisce about all the strange and fun things you did in college. 

13). Tell someone that you're thinking about them. Not in a weird, stalky way, but if someone comes to mind, tell them so! I find myself thinking about long lost friends, yet I never do anything about it. I'm trying to make it a goal to actually tell those people, because you just never know when someone needs a smile or an air hug. 

14). Belt songs REALLY loud in your house...go for a Grammy or a Tony! (For me, its been "I Dreamed A Dream" from "Les Mis". I save this for when the hubs is at work, not while he's trying to sleep). 

15). If the temp reaches above 0 and you feel like going out, walk around your local grocery store with as many layers on as you can. Who cares if you've brushed your teeth or taken a shower in the last two days...nobody can smell you!

16). Lesson plan. Because while you're on Pinterest looking up "Three Little Pigs activities for Preschoolers," you just may stumble upon pins having to do with home decor, or vacations, or cake designs. Multitasking! 
 

 17). Get lost reading blogs about parenting and cloth diapers and natural birth experiences and then stop, and realize that you just aren't ready for that right now. (I AM NOT PREGNANT). 

18). Do NOT open any doors for any reason, especially if you are not wearing socks or pants. You will regret it immediately. 

19). Do NOT throw boiling water out your door and film it. You run the risk of it coming back in your face and scarring you for life, and everyone already did that the first time around.

20). Download the "Team USA" app and read up on your favorite Olympians. Because the Sochi Olympics are the best thing since the last Olympics. This is not open for discussion.

21). Do NOT read/watch sad articles/movies. This is not the time to look at Buzzfeed's "23 Photos That Will Break Your Heart." Seasonal Depression is real, and you do not need to become its victim!

22). Chew lots of gum to stop yourself from gorging on chocolate, carbs, and any sort of food that is remotely warm and comforting. Or, just go to town and don't look back. I won't judge.

23). Consider exercising by using things around your house, like soup cans, or the stair case. Or, do like I do and spontaneously bust out 12.5 crunches and 7 squats, then repeat at 3 hour intervals. Or whenever the "spirit of fitness" takes over you. Which hasn't been a lot lately...

24). Do NOT take selfies of yourself out in the frigid air. You're probably getting frostbite and, like #19, we've ALL done it. Personally I choose not to do it because I look slightly androgynous since every sort of girly feature is covered by a coat, hat and scarf. The plus side is that my eyes look bluer in all this white...thanks Nordic ancestors!

This is just a start, and with more freezing days to come, I'm sure I'll be adding to this list frequently. But for now, I'm going to finish watching 30 Rock, clean the kitchen, and eat comfort food in my stretchy pants. Happy Vortexing!

Love and joy, 

D.

 

 

   

 

   

Ordinary Days.

What an adventure this last year has been...

There are many days (like yesterday morning in church) when I look down at my hand and I make the startling realization that I'm MARRIED. Married for real real, and not just on my elementary school playground. That might sound silly, but I'm sure other newlyweds can relate. Or anyone who has had a major life change or an answer to prayer, and although you are completely aware that this event has happened, you still can't believe it.

The months leading up to our wedding were filled to the brim with many exciting moments...whether it was picking out a venue, trying on dresses, planning the food or spending hours making pom pom garlands with mom, I felt like I was always doing something. And I knew that although the time went super slow (i.e. in the winter), that eventually, Ben and I would make it to September 7th and we would get to shout to the whole wide world that we loved each other and would be together until the end of time! YAHOOO!

And when the week of the wedding FINALLY arrived, each day held something to do. One day was spent in Columbus with Rachel (at a secret location where something super painful took place), the next day our photographer arrived and then more and more family and the bridesmaids and then the rehearsal (with lots of hugs and happy tears thrown in the mix) and then BOOM! The morning of September 7th! You can bet your bottom dollar that I was on cloud 9 that day, proudly wearing my "Bride" tank top and tiara, getting a free drink at Starbucks, getting hair and makeup done with my bests, and then it was time to get dressed and spend a few moments with my love before even more crazy wonderfulness took place.

There are SO many moments from our day that I want to relive over and over again...when Ben saw me standing in front of him, and the tears of joy that were in his eyes. This was it, it was our day after all of the waiting and praying and frustrations we faced when not being able to fully be together all of those months. The moment when my girls surrounded me in prayer and lifted me up when I thought I may simultaneously faint/pee my pants. (Brides, EAT the day of your wedding. Especially if it's warm outside). The moments I spent with my daddy before we walked down the aisle, and how excited he was. The moment I walked through the arch and only saw Ben, and all of the moments during the ceremony when we realized it was happening. Everything was real, and not a dream.

We had a wonderful reception and send off, and of course our honeymoon was awesome too! Just being away, on our own for the first time was magical. It wasn't an exotic location, but it was just us, and that's all we cared about.

But of course, all things must come to an end, so we eventually had to come home and return to work and adjust to a new normal. It's to be expected, but I don't think either of us were fully prepared. There was the time when our parents came over to open gifts with us and my mom felt it necessary to bring a cooler of all of the food I'd left in their fridge while I lived there. She literally brought an old bag of carrots and a half eaten apple, bless her heart. Our house was already semi-organized but with all of these new things Ben and I both had a moment of panic and "Where will this stuff go?!" That was what we like to call a growing moment, but we made room and life went on.

Life continues to go on, and after going through all of the fun and excitement of planning the biggest event of my life, I have come to the realization that these ordinary days I'm living in have the potential to be just as exciting and fulfilling as all of those crazy, exciting ones that happened in 2013. I think a lot of young couples have the mindset that after marriage, things will be just as exciting as they were during the wedding planning months, but frankly, they're not. And I'm not meaning that in any sort of "Debbie Downer" way...it's just how life is! But so many people (probably women more than men) get caught up in the emotions of wedding planning and constant action that they fail to think about what life will be like after marriage and more often than not, it is quite ordinary. There are dishes to be done, bills to be paid, and laundry to be folded. If you have a hubby who works long hours and swing shifts, then there are some days where you don't get to see one another at all! It can be super easy to get bogged down with the seemingly mundane tasks, or get upset about conflicting schedules, all the while forgetting to "live in the moment". But praise God, one day at a time, I'm learning that there is beauty in ordinary days.

One of my most favorite, ordinary moments was the day when Ben surprised me by playing a live, video recording of Mumford and Sons at Red Rock. He knows my love for both Mumford and Colorado, and we spent a couple of hours relaxing and being close, while enjoying something we both loved. I think this actually happened before the wedding, but it remains one of my dearest memories. I knew then and continue to know that if we can sit on the couch and enjoy something really simple and seemingly ordainry together, we'd be able to walk through life even when things are more difficult than simple.

I also the love ordinary days when we can wake up when we want, and then go downstairs and enjoy coffee and oatmeal together. So simple, but SO meaningful. I'm learning to enjoy each and every moment like that, instead of freaking myself out or worrying myself into a tizzy thinking about our work schedules and how much time we're not spending together. I have also been able to see how much I tend to over-analyze situations, and think something could be wrong when really, nothing is. Those are the moments that I want to remember not because they were my best ones, but rather ones that I can learn from.

The biggest thing I've come to realize is that none of this would be possible without a working, breathing relationship with my Daddy, Jesus. I can tell how different my perspective is on the days when I spend time with Him, and the days I don't. When I take time to direct my focus to a Savior who never leaves, it helps me to get through the long days or nights of Ben working, and I am free to pray for him and love him rather than bog myself down with worry about how much time we're apart. It's not always easy, and lately I haven't been doing so well at it, but thankfully there is forgiveness and grace from Ben because of Jesus.

I'd just like to encourage you friends, that whether married or single or dating or whatever, take time to appreciate your ordinary days. Don't freak out over the small, insignificant things and if you do, learn from it. Whether your days are filled with big and exciting things, or rather a few small things, you are where you are for a reason, and it's your choice as to how you'll react to it all. Make today a wonderfully ordinary day!


Love and joy, 

-D.

Lord, I Need You,

Creative input needed, friends! *UPDATED*

One of the super fun parts about being married is having a place to call our own, and a place to decorate! Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful that my parents allowed me to live with them, but I never really felt like it was home after I'd had my own place in college. Mom, dad and I were always struggling to keep our stuff from piling on top of each other and you don't even want to know how many places I had all of my baking equipment. (Is it okay to have your KitchenAid in your bedroom? Juuust joking. Kind of).

Now that Ben and I are settled into our own home, we've been slowly but surely decorating. While our styles don't fully mesh at times, we can both agree that we aren't knick knack people, and aren't into collecting glass animal figurines, clowns or small spoons from each state. We also don't want 8,000 photos of ourselves on every spare wall and shelf.

While I've had some trouble deciding on how to decorate other parts of our house, I HAVE decided on a plate wall for our kitchen, because 1). I think they're pretty and 2). it would help to disguise our security system pad! I'm thinking getting mostly white or ivory plates, with maybe one or two teal plates to go with some of the other teal accents we have.

Wanted: plates.

The one room I just can't seem to decide on is our bedroom. The previous owners had many strong colors in the house, and the bedroom was no exception. On three of the walls they had painted the walls charcoal (yikes) and had black furniture and a gray bed set. It felt like a very scary and strange dungeon. Needless to say, we chose to lighten it up quite a bit, and now it's a lovely, un-scary, soft shade of green.

Notice the couple in the photo frame? Maybe I should change it to a photo of us...

My dresser, which I decorated with a few things from our wedding decor. I'm all about re-purposing!

As you can see, we have several blank walls that need a bit of jazzin' up, but I'm at a loss as to what to do! Maybe only one wall needs something, but is it the wall above the bed or the wall above the TV?? HELP! My lovely bestie gave us a beautiful old window, which could be filled with photos...scrapbook paper...a quote...the possibilities are endless. Maybe we could hang it somewhere in the bedroom? Once again, HELP!

So friends, this is where I'd love your input. If you have any fabulous decorating ideas, please leave me a comment! I'd love to see what you envision for this space!

*UPDATE!*

I just want to say a quick "thank you" to all of you who have given me some really great ideas for our bedroom. (Ben's thoughts-"Go for it!" Woohoo! Thanks babe!) I've decided to concentrate on decorating the wall above our bed, but I have yet to think of what it is I'd like to go there. For now, I'm going to try and concentrate on one project at a time and focus on sewing some curtains. I've done a bit of measuring today (mostly with my hands and eyeballs) and I think that even though it'll be a tight squeeze, two curtain rods will definitely fit in there. Here are said windows:

This is the type of window treatment I think would look best and thankfully, Ben agrees!

I looked at fabrics today and found a few that caught my eye, but of course, I'm having trouble deciding so once again, I'd love your input. Maybe you like these choices and maybe you hate them...either way, let me know! Oh and here's our bedding for another point of reference:

 Here are the fabric choices for the curtains so far:

A

B

C

D

(Not sure why the wall colors are different, but it's closest to "A"). Thanks for reading this again!

 Love and joy,

D.

Hello, 2014!

Our feet(s).

Well, this is my second (maybe third) attempt to get back into the blogging world. I'm not really making resolutions for 2014, more like "Things I Really Want To Do-tions", and blogging would definitely fall under that list. Maybe the thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis aren't as funny or clever as I think they are, but either way, I'd still like the chance to share them.

I'd like to post more photos of my food and dessert creations, and also write about the things I hear as a preschool teacher that sometimes aren't supposed to make me laugh, but they still do. One of my favorites so far is "Mrs. Danielle, he said 'butt butt weiner butt in my butt butt weiner...butt!!'" I mean, how are you supposed to combat that with a straight face?? Sure, I had to send him to time out for saying that slew of potty words, but inside, I was dying from laughter.

My handsome brother and his beautiful bride!

I may even post a song or two. I've been pretty slack on playing my precious uke, but every once in a great while when I do pick it up, I realize how much I miss playing it. And who doesn't smile when they hear a little ditty on a cute ukulele?

All of that to say, I have high hopes for 2014 and for all the joys, trials, and fun it holds. I recently read a John Piper devotional, and in it he talked about how the ending of each year is kind of like a rehearsal for the end of our lives. Yes, a little morbid, but also something interesting to think about. Everything that made that year great or terrible for you is drawing to a close, and you will never have that time back. I have to say, out of all of my years of living (except maybe the year I turned 10 and was FINALLY able to get my ears pierced), 2013 had to be my favorite year. The best thing about the year would have to be our wedding (and all of the DIY projects that led up to it). September 7th was the best day of my 25 years, hands down. So many wonderful people from all over came to celebrate with Ben and I, and although I didn't get to spend as much time with everyone as I would have liked, I still appreciate the fact all of our dearest friends and family were present and eating fro yo, laughing, and sharing our joy.

Sweet Baby Max, my bffs ADORABLE little boy who was born in March.

Back to the devotional. With the closing of the year, Piper encouraged you (me) to ask ourselves...Did I live this year well? Will Jesus Christ, the righteous judge, say "Well done, good and faithful servant?"

Hm.

I think of all the joys and moments that I lived to their full capacities this past year...and yet I also have to think of all the times I got angry, or lived in fear (because getting married can be a little bit daunting sometimes), had selfish thoughts, got jealous, didn't take the time to listen to someone in need...the list goes on and on. As I reflected on my less-than-lovely moments of 2013, it really got me thinking on what I would like to change in 2014. And in 2014, I want to  (Lord-willing) be a more influential person. What that looks like, I really have no clue...except I've started a small list to try and keep my focus in that direction. It all came to me while I was journaling the other morning, and while I'm still thinking of  more things I'd like to accomplish/improve upon this year, this is the beginning of my list.

I love these women.

2014.

1). Speak with love and honesty.

2). Forgive quickly, and sincerely. I'm sure this sounds cliche, but marriage has taught me this more than anything else. I don't always want to do this, because, well, I'm human, and prideful, and gosh darn it I am RIGHT! But at the end of the day, will it matter more if I was right, or if I chose to forgive? I'm going with the latter. (Because more often that not, I am WAY wrong).

3). Listen more intensely. My preschoolers are always telling me things, and too many times I dismiss them quickly because we're doing something that requires them to be quiet, but what if I actually take the time to hear them out? Or if I can't listen to their story right then, what if I truly took the time to listen to it later? I'm also realizing that I struggle with listening in my own home. All too often I'll be multitasking while Ben is talking to me and only catch part of what he's saying. I'll ask him the same question I asked two minutes prior, which makes me feel like I'm 25 going on 85. What if I actually listened to his answers? If Ben can take the time to explain something to me, then I certainly can take the time to listen to his response. 

4). Smile at strangers more; do kind things for them. Sure, it's awesome to surprise those I love, but what about the older woman standing behind me in line? What if all she needs that day is a smile and a kind word? Two completely free, small acts of kindness that could make her whole day.

5). Take time to remember the special moments. I'm trying to do this by writing a sentence down each day, though knowing me it's more like half a paragraph. I want to remember what I did that day and how I felt. A distant relative of mine kept journals like this from the 30s and 40s, and it is SO cool to look back on those now and see what was important to her. 

6). Act on creative ideas. 

7). Finish projects that have been started. Any multi-tasker knows this all too well...you start that t-shirt blanket one winter and never finish it because then you start making aprons, baking cakes, dog sitting (?) and then pretty soon it's June and who wants to make a blanket in June? FINISH THINGS.

8). Be a better wife. I don't know when the "wife-ing" abilities start to kick in, but somedays I feel on top of the world and other days I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. One thing I have learned is that in marriage, there is no room for selfish/self deprecating thoughts, so that is probably where I should begin, by banishing those "woe is me" thoughts before they can even step foot in the door. The past is the past, and no matter what hurts or habits I've developed from previous relationships, it is high time I get rid of those hindrances all together and focus on the here and now, the beautiful present, and the wonderful man I've been given to love. 

The Vintage Pearl literally makes the coolest things.

8 may seem like an strange number to stop at, and I have more things floating around my head, but I want to make sure they're actual things I'd like to work on, as opposed to just things I want to write down to fill out this list. For now, I think I'll stop here. I know I didn't specifically come out and say "grow closer to God", because that's implied. All of these things are things I feel the Father is putting on my heart to do, so in turn, I can glorify Him.

I hope that you can come on this journey with me, and the adventures that are surely waiting for me in 2014. What are the things you'd like to do this year? How will you change you world?

Let's get started, friends. Only 362 more days to make this year the best one yet.


Love and joy,

D.

Redeemed.

Wow.

I can't really say much more than that at this moment, when my heart is COMPLETELY full, and I am just basking in God's goodness. Have you ever had a moment like that? When His love, grace, forgiveness, compassion and kindness is suddenly made so very real, and all you can do is sit back and say "WOW."

Last night, I took part in a moment like that.

I had the opportunity to pray over the one whom God has given to me, the one whom my heart has been waiting for, and God unleashed His perfect healing and perfect love in a very real, very tangible way. It was amazing, and beautiful and powerful and everything that our God is. It's not very easy to describe and I don't feel the need to the details of that intimate moment, but I can tell you that I have not experienced something like that in my whole life, much less with someone that I've dated.

You see, in the past, I haven't made the best choices when it comes to men. (For those of you who have been there with me, you can shout out a loud "AMEN!"). I feel like laughing, crying, and cringing all at the same time when I think over my dating history. There are definitely some ugly moments, some moments that I wish had never ever happened. There are times when I let my guard down and completely went to places far beyond where I ever wanted to go. By God's grace I still have my purity, though I am not without scars. I honestly cannot tell you why I made those stupid choices, and how I could possibly think I was following the Lord closely when some of my actions were so far from His Word.

By nature, I am a "fixer." If something is broken, I will try my very best to find a way to fix it, because I can see the potential in it. I love to believe the best about people, and for some reason I sometimes think that MY words and actions can change someone's thought pattern. Without fully realizing it, that is the mindset I had in many of my dating relationships. I overlooked major issues in order to be with someone that I "loved", and I misinterpreted their ungodly actions as love.I would plead and pray with God to change their hearts, but little did I know that on their end, they didn't really want their hearts to change. I mean, maybe they did, but I can only go off of the fruit I saw in their lives, which really wasn't much. I thought that I was being respected, but now that I'm looking back, I realize I wasn't, at ALL. Not that I was being beaten or abused in any way, but I feel as if I was taken advantage of. Yet I have to also point a finger of blame at myself, because I did nothing to stop it. If I didn't put up a fight, then things were ok, right?

No. Not at all.

I consider myself to be a strong, independent Northern woman, yet for some reason in dating situations I froze, and tried to be as giving and as accepting to my boyfriend at the time so that they would cherish me. Sometimes that meant comprising values I held dear, yet somehow I was able to justify my actions. And maybe by being so loving and giving, I could "save" that person. I hate to even write all of this, yet it's all true, and I feel as if the Lord is prompting me to share part of my story in order so that someone can be encouraged, someone can know that there is hope, grace, and forgiveness.

There is one instance that sticks out in my mind, the moment when I almost lost one of the most precious and sacred parts of myself. It was frightening, and SO so wrong. And as I reflected on that moment later, I began to feel completely ashamed, and it made me question the entire relationship. What had we built our relationship on? It certainly wasn't God...not in the least. I began to think over most of the times that he and I hung out, and I realized that I had never really walked away feeling encouraged or without some form of guilt. But he LOVED me, right? So did that make it all ok?

Nope.

That relationship eventually ended, and I tried to share with him my thoughts and feelings on that one moment, but he only tried to justify it and never really apologized. I couldn't believe it, but it only solidified the fact that we NEEDED to break up. I didn't cry very much honestly, because I knew how wrong our relationship was. Praise God that in his mercy, He allowed me to walk away and start afresh.

It wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I was able to forgive myself for the shame that I've been carrying, and to give it all to God. It was really hard, but I had to forgive that person who had wronged me, and then let it all go. This was all largely due to the beautiful relationship God has brought about in my life this past April. It has been nothing like I've ever experienced, and now I can say that I know what it means to be truly loved for who I am, and to be respected. My heart is being treasured and cared for, and I have NEVER walked away from spending a day with Ben with a feeling of shame or guilt. From the very beginning, my needs have been put above his, which is something I had to get used to.

But the most important and beautiful thing is how Ben's love and actions constantly point me to Jesus. There is NO way that he could love me like that on his own, but by God's grace and power, and with HIS love, Ben loves me without abandon, without a regard to my past. He is not perfect, and he would never ever say that he is, but he is perfect for me. When you truly let go and let God direct your path, He does exceedingly great things. He is continually teaching us about His grace, His redemption, His love, and His forgiveness.

As I prayed over my love last night, the Lord brought a phrase to my mind that I could not stop repeating:

You are forgiven. You are redeemed. You are free.

Over and over He spoke that to my heart, and I spoke it to Ben. It was NOT by my own power, but by the power of our God. His love and redemption were tangible and real and quite indescribable. I know to some, this may seem silly or weird, but it was real, and beautiful, and something that neither of us will ever forget. I truly cannot deny that it is Christ's power that is at work in my life, and I want everyone to know!

For those who have made mistakes, who maybe are realizing for the first time that they never fully committed their lives to Christ, who think they are too far from grace...you are not. Ben and I will both tell you that you are NEVER too far from the love of God to reach into your heart and change everything. You are not defined by your mistakes or anything that happened to your past. No matter what transpired, you can be free from any chains that are wrapped around your heart. The devil tries to come in and speak lies that you are unworthy, unforgiven, unloved, but he has NO power when it comes to the blood of Christ. All that God wants is the glory, and when we choose to bask in His love and forgiveness, He wipes away our tears and gets rid of everything that is holding us back from a deeper relationship with him. He frees our hearts and sets us in a "wide and spacious place." Sometimes, that process can be a little bit painful, but remember that in the end he will make it all okay. It is part of that refining process that is necessary to grow in your relationship with Him, and it pushes you to a place where are 100% sure that He is real, and that He loves you beyond measure. 1 Corinthians 12 speaks of God's grace in such a beautiful and poignant way.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

How beautiful and freeing is that? Paul goes on to write:

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I have nothing to add to that. 

You are making all things new, and we are free.