Sunset over Lincoln Ave. in downtown SteamboatIn just a few short weeks, I'll be back home in Ohio. Weird, huh? This summer has FLOWN by. To tell you the truth, it's a bit overwhelming. I feel like a lot has happened in such a short time and now I'm just grasping at the time left I have in Colorado and with my girls desperately. But no matter what I do, time keeps marching on and soon I'll be flying away from one of my most favorite places on earth. I reflect quite a lot, so right now I'm thinking back to earlier this year when I couldn't believe that I'd soon be a college graduate, but that time has come and gone and now I've moved on to the "next big thing" (apparently my key phrase for this summer). This "big thing" is almost over and then it's on to what I've been waiting for my entire life...the time when my REAL life begins. Hahahaha. I just have to audibly laugh at that, because as far as I know I've BEEN living these past few years. I guess it's more accurate to say that in a few weeks I'll just be opening a new chapter in the Book of Danielle.
My so called "life plans" have fluctuated like craaaazy for the past year. After my summer in CO last year, I seriously contemplated the major I chose and debated whether I was truly called to a career in the performing arts. Pretty scary stuff right there. When you've put so much time and effort into something, and then to suddenly feel like maybe you chose to do the wrong thing is a pretty faith rattling experience. I've thought of all sorts of careers and options, yet nothing seemed to work out. I've pursued several things in Colorado, simply for the fact that I love it here. I feel at home and believe I've found a church that I could go raise a family at. But there's this little thing called "timing", and after the doors I tried to walk through here have shut, I've been forced to put my "Colorado dream" for the time being. I believe that someday God could open the door for me to move out here and I guarantee I will RUN through it. Hopefully it won't be by myself, but with my love by my side.
Then there was the "Jackson plan". I'd be lying if I said that this was on the top of my list. Frankly, I hate the thought of living in such a dangerous city and being back in the dirty south. The climate, the lack of healthy living, and several other factors turn me from it. But on the other hand (which is a pretty big hand), Daniel, Marie and several more of my closest friends live there and I would love love LOVE to be close to them once again. I don't think I can express how much I mean that. There's also a big BUT with this one. I don't have a job lined up at this point, and by the time I get there, I would have missed the chance to audition for the professional theatre in Jackson, which I know is probably something I should do. I don't know what would come of it, but being the busy body that I am, I'd like to be able to have something to do in the evenings and get the opportunity to get directed by some new people. Once again, there's this darn "timing" thing, and if I'm truly trusting God to direct my steps, then making a hasty decision to move down South would be in complete opposition to that. Thankfully, a trip to good ol' Jackson is tentatively planned for the end of August so it's not going to be too much longer until I'm reunited with my loves, even if it is only for a few weeks.
After all of that, I think there's a plan that has come to the forefront of my mind and seems to be winning out above all other plans. Financially, it's the wisest thing I could do since these next few months will bring the start of my payments for my loans I had to take out for school. After I come home from camp, I've decided that for the time being, it will be the smartest thing to move in with my parents, at least until late fall/early winter. Haters can laugh all you like, but as I see how many doors are starting to open after making this decision I have peace knowing that for now, this is the best thing I can do. I've had it in my mind to get my Pilates mat work certification and living at home would allow me to do that. I'd be able to use money that I've been saving up to put towards that and a gym membership, which I'd need in order to train under a Pilates instructor. It may be a good idea for me to work there...free classes, anyone? Yes please. I'll also be able to sub at the school my mom works at (the school I graduated from) and it'd be nice to save a little money and ride to school with her. A full time position in the day care has yet to open up, but after talking to my old boss there, I have a feeling it could eventually. And the money that I would've spent on rent can be put towards paying off my loans, which sounds like such an adult thing to say. I guess I'm growin' up, huh? I won't lie and say that this is going to be the easiest thing ever. I'm sure my parents and I will have our fair share of tiffs, but I have some great friends around and opportunities to get away for a weekend at a time. It'll be really hard being far from Daniel, but I know that God is going to continue to work in us during this time. Oh, and I just saw an audition for a musical at a Columbus Children's Theatre, which happens the day after I get back. Besides physical theatre, the genre of children's theatre is really appealing to me. We'll see what happens with all of these plans and what God chooses to do.
As I continue to mull over things in my mind, my spirit is becoming more and more peaceful with the decisions I've made. It all has the potential to change in the blink of an eye, and I think that with the money I'll be saving I'll be ready to go wherever when I'm called. Is this what I had planned for myself a year ago? No, probably not. But will this end up being the best thing for me? Yes...for now. I'm a being of change so I feel like he won't keep me in Ohio for forever. But if he does? Well, I can't really argue with that. More and more I'm learning to have patience and learning that I am not the only one going through the struggles I'm experiencing. I've been surrounded by some truly beautiful people who are at similar places in life and who will be my prayer partners these next few months. I can see various opportunities opening up in front of me and I'm EXCITED. As I strive to live in the moment, I am looking forward to these short and precious weeks left in my second home and am also excited to see Daniel in just about a month.
God is up to something...and it's pretty big.
My so called "life plans" have fluctuated like craaaazy for the past year. After my summer in CO last year, I seriously contemplated the major I chose and debated whether I was truly called to a career in the performing arts. Pretty scary stuff right there. When you've put so much time and effort into something, and then to suddenly feel like maybe you chose to do the wrong thing is a pretty faith rattling experience. I've thought of all sorts of careers and options, yet nothing seemed to work out. I've pursued several things in Colorado, simply for the fact that I love it here. I feel at home and believe I've found a church that I could go raise a family at. But there's this little thing called "timing", and after the doors I tried to walk through here have shut, I've been forced to put my "Colorado dream" for the time being. I believe that someday God could open the door for me to move out here and I guarantee I will RUN through it. Hopefully it won't be by myself, but with my love by my side.
Then there was the "Jackson plan". I'd be lying if I said that this was on the top of my list. Frankly, I hate the thought of living in such a dangerous city and being back in the dirty south. The climate, the lack of healthy living, and several other factors turn me from it. But on the other hand (which is a pretty big hand), Daniel, Marie and several more of my closest friends live there and I would love love LOVE to be close to them once again. I don't think I can express how much I mean that. There's also a big BUT with this one. I don't have a job lined up at this point, and by the time I get there, I would have missed the chance to audition for the professional theatre in Jackson, which I know is probably something I should do. I don't know what would come of it, but being the busy body that I am, I'd like to be able to have something to do in the evenings and get the opportunity to get directed by some new people. Once again, there's this darn "timing" thing, and if I'm truly trusting God to direct my steps, then making a hasty decision to move down South would be in complete opposition to that. Thankfully, a trip to good ol' Jackson is tentatively planned for the end of August so it's not going to be too much longer until I'm reunited with my loves, even if it is only for a few weeks.
After all of that, I think there's a plan that has come to the forefront of my mind and seems to be winning out above all other plans. Financially, it's the wisest thing I could do since these next few months will bring the start of my payments for my loans I had to take out for school. After I come home from camp, I've decided that for the time being, it will be the smartest thing to move in with my parents, at least until late fall/early winter. Haters can laugh all you like, but as I see how many doors are starting to open after making this decision I have peace knowing that for now, this is the best thing I can do. I've had it in my mind to get my Pilates mat work certification and living at home would allow me to do that. I'd be able to use money that I've been saving up to put towards that and a gym membership, which I'd need in order to train under a Pilates instructor. It may be a good idea for me to work there...free classes, anyone? Yes please. I'll also be able to sub at the school my mom works at (the school I graduated from) and it'd be nice to save a little money and ride to school with her. A full time position in the day care has yet to open up, but after talking to my old boss there, I have a feeling it could eventually. And the money that I would've spent on rent can be put towards paying off my loans, which sounds like such an adult thing to say. I guess I'm growin' up, huh? I won't lie and say that this is going to be the easiest thing ever. I'm sure my parents and I will have our fair share of tiffs, but I have some great friends around and opportunities to get away for a weekend at a time. It'll be really hard being far from Daniel, but I know that God is going to continue to work in us during this time. Oh, and I just saw an audition for a musical at a Columbus Children's Theatre, which happens the day after I get back. Besides physical theatre, the genre of children's theatre is really appealing to me. We'll see what happens with all of these plans and what God chooses to do.
As I continue to mull over things in my mind, my spirit is becoming more and more peaceful with the decisions I've made. It all has the potential to change in the blink of an eye, and I think that with the money I'll be saving I'll be ready to go wherever when I'm called. Is this what I had planned for myself a year ago? No, probably not. But will this end up being the best thing for me? Yes...for now. I'm a being of change so I feel like he won't keep me in Ohio for forever. But if he does? Well, I can't really argue with that. More and more I'm learning to have patience and learning that I am not the only one going through the struggles I'm experiencing. I've been surrounded by some truly beautiful people who are at similar places in life and who will be my prayer partners these next few months. I can see various opportunities opening up in front of me and I'm EXCITED. As I strive to live in the moment, I am looking forward to these short and precious weeks left in my second home and am also excited to see Daniel in just about a month.
God is up to something...and it's pretty big.
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