So much for being diligent about writing a lot this semester...haha time has once again escaped from me and now it's April and not the beginning of a semester, but the end. The end of my undergraduate career, actually.
WEIRD.
It's very odd to write that, think that, know that. In just a few short days my family will be coming (including David:)) I can't tell you how happy it makes me to think of our reunion. Times with my family have become so very precious, which is part of the reason why I'll be returning to Ohio the week after graduation to spend a month with mum and pop before I head out to Colorado once again. I've missed them. I don't want to be home forever and turn into one of those people that just "hangs out" all the time...aka doing nothing. That's just not me. After 4 years of GO GO GO it'll be nice to just BE, rest and recover. In some small way, I think I've earned it. I don't want to write anymore papers, listen to anymore lectures, or read any books that I don't want to read. (I'm noticing right now that I keep making lists in this blog post...too many years of making them in my planner I suppose). Coupled with all of this angst and readiness to bust outta this joint, there's also sadness. A lot of sadness that I haven't really allowed myself to deal with full out. Starting last week, the realizations that I'm doing things for the last time and that I will not return to my friends in the fall have hit me hard. I've found myself tearing up a lot more and I'm having a hard time leaving Daniel's house. Just tonight I started to cry as I drove away. I can't qualify it as sense memory, because I haven't driven away from him for the last time in awhile yet...that'll come May 5th-ish. But it's the foreshadowing of that drive that brought the tears. Silly, I know. But I'm a girl and I just can't help it.
There's also a bit of fear in the unknown...what WILL happen in the fall? I've applied for a dorm parent position at a boarding school in Steamboat where I'd also get the chance to help with the drama program. Just thinking about it is SO exciting to me. I'd like to take a break from acting and performing for awhile and just serve God, love people. I want to feel as if I'm making a difference somewhere and after working at camp last summer, I realize my work is with people. Not to say that I'm swearing off acting. Who knows what opportunities will arise. But for right now, God has something else planned. What if being a dorm parent doesn't happen and I do end up living with my parents for awhile? Will I be content with that? What if God calls me back to Jackson? That is a little hard to fathom, but I can't say 100% that it won't happen. Yes of course I'd love to be close to Dan again...I think that's a given. But I also feel like it's time to move on from Jackson...to do something else. I don't feel safe here and wouldn't feel comfortable settling here long term. Ai yi yi...my newly un-colleged brain is overloaded with all of these thoughts. I need to relax, take comfort in Proverbs 3 (Trusting in God so he can direct my path), and do something mindless. I just watched "It's Kind Of A Funny Story" and it was just so quirky and endearing-thank you Redbox for finally having good movies for me to rent.
I guess I can't get away from making lists because I feel the urge to start one RIGHT NOW. Not a boring grocery list or a list of yucky tasks, but a FUN list. Here goes.
A FUN LIST OF THINGS I WANT TO DO AFTER GRADUATION:
-Make a list of books to read (that will be another blog post)
-Give lots of my clothes to consignment shops/Goodwill/anyone who wants them. I have far too many and it's just embarrassing and ridiculous. They could be put to good use.
-Make a shirt with petals around the collar made from old t-shirts of mine.
-BAKE. And cook. Make lots and lots of yummy smoothies.
-Come up with recipes that taste good AND are good for you. I love healthy substitutions.
-Finish reading "The Artist's Way."
-Make a T-Shirt bag: http://www.marthastewart.com/article/good-thing-t-shirt-bag
-Re-paint and re-design my mom's kitchen and my great aunt's lake side house.
-Lay outside and get lots of Vitamin D.
-Ride my bike and/or roller blade every single day.
-Get a Vespa. http://www.vespausa.com/scooters.html#!s=maintenance-and-warranty/lxv-150-i.e
-Try the new frozen yogurt place in my hometown. Nothing will be able to beat Sweet Cece's I'm afraid...
There are several more things that I just can't think of at the moment. I've been sitting on my bum for a few hours and I'm getting the urge to clean...probably a good thing, seeing as how I have to move out in a little over a week. WOOF.
Tata for now...be looking back for more blog posts in the near future from this ALMOST graduated lady.
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