Hope.

Sometimes I feel like it's really hard for me to write things exactly as I want to say them, because I fear how it will sound, or if people will be offended or hurt, or if they'll think I'm just complaining about something. But you know what, I have spent much of my life "people-pleasing" or doing what OTHER people think I should do, so I'm just going to go ahead and write something that's been on my heart and not look back.

You simply cannot deny that there is a lot of pain and sadness in this world. It seems like everywhere you look, you see images of children dying in the streets, terrorists shooting down planes, diseases ravaging third world countries--I could probably go on for days. On a personal level, within this past year, I have seen mommies lose little ones, my friends lose loved ones, and wonderful people get horrible sicknesses. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I've found that I cry a lot more, and situations really have a tendency to touch my heart and stay on my mind. I was watching the Today show last Sunday, and they were showing the memorial service of three beautiful children from Australia who had been on flight MH17. Weeping and completely heartbroken, their mother talked about how after she found out their flight had gone down, she went outside and lifted her hands up to the sky and screamed in disbelief. And that for the rest of her life, she would always be reaching for them. My eyes filled with tears instantly, and my heart hurt for this woman. Why should a mother have to experience that? Where is the hope in that terrible situation?

The small "issues" in my own life are nothing in comparison to what those around me have been experiencing lately, but it is shamefully easy to get caught up in them. Ben and I have been waiting on a situation at his work to play out (hopefully for the good), and for his crazy schedule to change. You're probably thinking "Those are the "issues" you've been dealing with? Really, Danielle?". They look so trite written out, yet I would have to answer "yes" to that. There have been many moments when I've cried out to God with my frustrations and my questions, and I know my attitude affected Ben. Combine that with his sheer exhaustion, and you don't get two very loving people.

But I am (slowly) learning something. Within every terrible situation, every frustration, every loss, every dark hole that has no way out...there is hope. It may be very, very small, but it is there. When something bad happens, hope is the first thing to go, and it can be really hard to find again. We have all been there, and we may be there right now. I don't know why God is allowing your heart to be broken, but I want you to know that I am believing there is a purpose in it. Often, when we're in the midst of pain, we can't see and end to it, and we certainly don't see the purpose or the point. God and I have had a few heart to hearts over the past several weeks, and He has slowly turned my doubt of His plan and goodness into a dwindle of hope. He's encouraged my heart greatly through worship and song, the preaching of his Word, my own quiet time with Him, or seeing His light shine through someone who is experiencing pain. Another thing I've found that has helped greatly has been to encourage and pray for others, even if I feel like I'm the one in need of encouragement. When I take the focus off of myself (come on, you know it's easier said that done) and direct my focus towards someone who is hurting or struggling, God comes through in big ways. It's crazy how sometimes someone is on your mind, and you come across a passage in the Bible and it jumps out at you, and you immediately know it was meant for that person who you've been thinking about. God is so very good like that.

I've also been learning that is He is SO much bigger and stronger than anything we face, no matter how big or how small. He doesn't abandon us in our times of need, He walks with us, and He wants our pain and our suffering to point us back to Him. When it's all over, and hope begins to enter our hearts, He wants us to say "God, YOU did that. YOU brought me through that valley. YOU didn't abandon me. YOU love me." Because then your situation could touch someone else, and allow them to see the glory of the Lord. His beautiful, everlasting, perfect glory.

God will not allow your heart to be broken forever. He will not allow your frustrations to last forever. As frustrated as I am sometimes that I don't get to spend time with Ben, there will be a day when we will have all the time in the world to spend together, as we praise and worship our God. The lost time with loved ones will be made up, the reaching arms will be filled, and sickness won't overtake us. All of our hopes will be fulfilled, and it will be a beautiful day.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him..."

Lamentations 3:19-25

With hope,

Danielle