What an adventure this last year has been...
There are many days (like yesterday morning in church) when I look down at my hand and I make the startling realization that I'm MARRIED. Married for real real, and not just on my elementary school playground. That might sound silly, but I'm sure other newlyweds can relate. Or anyone who has had a major life change or an answer to prayer, and although you are completely aware that this event has happened, you still can't believe it.
The months leading up to our wedding were filled to the brim with many exciting moments...whether it was picking out a venue, trying on dresses, planning the food or spending hours making pom pom garlands with mom, I felt like I was always doing something. And I knew that although the time went super slow (i.e. in the winter), that eventually, Ben and I would make it to September 7th and we would get to shout to the whole wide world that we loved each other and would be together until the end of time! YAHOOO!
And when the week of the wedding FINALLY arrived, each day held something to do. One day was spent in Columbus with Rachel (at a secret location where something super painful took place), the next day our photographer arrived and then more and more family and the bridesmaids and then the rehearsal (with lots of hugs and happy tears thrown in the mix) and then BOOM! The morning of September 7th! You can bet your bottom dollar that I was on cloud 9 that day, proudly wearing my "Bride" tank top and tiara, getting a free drink at Starbucks, getting hair and makeup done with my bests, and then it was time to get dressed and spend a few moments with my love before even more crazy wonderfulness took place.
There are SO many moments from our day that I want to relive over and over again...when Ben saw me standing in front of him, and the tears of joy that were in his eyes. This was it, it was our day after all of the waiting and praying and frustrations we faced when not being able to fully be together all of those months. The moment when my girls surrounded me in prayer and lifted me up when I thought I may simultaneously faint/pee my pants. (Brides, EAT the day of your wedding. Especially if it's warm outside). The moments I spent with my daddy before we walked down the aisle, and how excited he was. The moment I walked through the arch and only saw Ben, and all of the moments during the ceremony when we realized it was happening. Everything was real, and not a dream.
We had a wonderful reception and send off, and of course our honeymoon was awesome too! Just being away, on our own for the first time was magical. It wasn't an exotic location, but it was just us, and that's all we cared about.
But of course, all things must come to an end, so we eventually had to come home and return to work and adjust to a new normal. It's to be expected, but I don't think either of us were fully prepared. There was the time when our parents came over to open gifts with us and my mom felt it necessary to bring a cooler of all of the food I'd left in their fridge while I lived there. She literally brought an old bag of carrots and a half eaten apple, bless her heart. Our house was already semi-organized but with all of these new things Ben and I both had a moment of panic and "Where will this stuff go?!" That was what we like to call a growing moment, but we made room and life went on.
Life continues to go on, and after going through all of the fun and excitement of planning the biggest event of my life, I have come to the realization that these ordinary days I'm living in have the potential to be just as exciting and fulfilling as all of those crazy, exciting ones that happened in 2013. I think a lot of young couples have the mindset that after marriage, things will be just as exciting as they were during the wedding planning months, but frankly, they're not. And I'm not meaning that in any sort of "Debbie Downer" way...it's just how life is! But so many people (probably women more than men) get caught up in the emotions of wedding planning and constant action that they fail to think about what life will be like after marriage and more often than not, it is quite ordinary. There are dishes to be done, bills to be paid, and laundry to be folded. If you have a hubby who works long hours and swing shifts, then there are some days where you don't get to see one another at all! It can be super easy to get bogged down with the seemingly mundane tasks, or get upset about conflicting schedules, all the while forgetting to "live in the moment". But praise God, one day at a time, I'm learning that there is beauty in ordinary days.
One of my most favorite, ordinary moments was the day when Ben surprised me by playing a live, video recording of Mumford and Sons at Red Rock. He knows my love for both Mumford and Colorado, and we spent a couple of hours relaxing and being close, while enjoying something we both loved. I think this actually happened before the wedding, but it remains one of my dearest memories. I knew then and continue to know that if we can sit on the couch and enjoy something really simple and seemingly ordainry together, we'd be able to walk through life even when things are more difficult than simple.
I also the love ordinary days when we can wake up when we want, and then go downstairs and enjoy coffee and oatmeal together. So simple, but SO meaningful. I'm learning to enjoy each and every moment like that, instead of freaking myself out or worrying myself into a tizzy thinking about our work schedules and how much time we're not spending together. I have also been able to see how much I tend to over-analyze situations, and think something could be wrong when really, nothing is. Those are the moments that I want to remember not because they were my best ones, but rather ones that I can learn from.
The biggest thing I've come to realize is that none of this would be possible without a working, breathing relationship with my Daddy, Jesus. I can tell how different my perspective is on the days when I spend time with Him, and the days I don't. When I take time to direct my focus to a Savior who never leaves, it helps me to get through the long days or nights of Ben working, and I am free to pray for him and love him rather than bog myself down with worry about how much time we're apart. It's not always easy, and lately I haven't been doing so well at it, but thankfully there is forgiveness and grace from Ben because of Jesus.
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I'd just like to encourage you friends, that whether married or single or dating or whatever, take time to appreciate your ordinary days. Don't freak out over the small, insignificant things and if you do, learn from it. Whether your days are filled with big and exciting things, or rather a few small things, you are where you are for a reason, and it's your choice as to how you'll react to it all. Make today a wonderfully ordinary day!
Love and joy,
-D.
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