WOOF.

This is where I am for the summer, and I'm loving it.

For the most part.

I say that not because of the scenery or my girls, because as you can see, it's GORGEOUS here. It's even prettier and the air is more crisp that I remembered...possibly due to the snow still on the mountains. (July...snow...whaaat?) And I have a pretty stellar group of 12 year olds in my cabin this year. How we've managed to get a group that hasn't had a single cat fight is beyond me. They're crazy, silly, beautiful, and SO caring-it's safe to say I'm falling in love with them.

I guess the one thing that hasn't made this year 100% enjoyable is CHANGE. Not really the actual changes so much, but the way they've been handled at times. The camp has experienced much change in the past year and many things are new and being tried for the first time. Some of those in leadership positions are here for the first time, which makes it hard for us returners who feel like we have a little better bearing on how things run to understand why certain things are being done. It's a tough position, because it's not really our place to question the decisions made. But more often than not, I find myself speaking up rather than holding back and I've been learning to do so in a manner that's not offensive or rude. Rude confrontations make me anxious and completely uncomfortable, so I try to avoid that at all costs. I can't really go into detail, but my spirit has been tried in many different ways this past month and everyday I'm learning how to roll with the punches more and more and be a peacemaker. Sometimes speaking peace is more important than speaking up.

I feel like my thoughts are all over the place-probably due to the fact that it's about 11:30 and I'm used to being asleep by this time. Earlier this week was a bit rough, because the terrible disease of homesickness (or "fudge waffles" as we try to call it to make the kids laugh) spread through my cabin. Combined with tummy aches, nosebleeds, and an instance of vomiting, it's safe to say I was glad when Monday was over and my day off had finally arrived. I can't even tell you how much I appreciated those 24 hours away from camp...it felt like the storm had broken and the sun was shining through. Most of the stress I had been dealing with was from situations out of my control, or ones that weren't really my concern. It was nice to be in town, stay in a warm and comfy bed, eat at a DELISH Mexican restaurant, and find many great thrift store goodies, one of which is a pair of $6 cowgirl boots. SCORE. I came back to camp feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and I loved getting hugs and love from my girls when I returned. Tomorrow we're ALL going to town, which should be rather interesting. And then Monday is the famed 4th of July parade, so please send a prayer up for my spirit if you think of it. Think 100+ kids marching in a parade and doing a sweet dance in front of judges...oh, and btdubs, we've won for the past 10 years. As one of the counselors heading it up, you can see why I've been feeling a little/lot of pressure.

But through all of this-the many personalities, the "fudge waffles", and the billion other problems that arise each day, I am learning to trust God. And have PATIENCE. I'm finding that's quite a difficult thing to do...to truly trust God that he WILL take care of my every need and tell me the way I should go. I feel like I've thought that over/said that a million times these past few months, but it's so true. I have no other option, no other concrete plan but to hand my life completely over to Christ and say "Here. This is yours. Do what you want." Scary, huh? You bet. It's not my job to worry about the outcome or to listen to those around me who ask "So...what are you plans for the fall?" Do those people really need an answer? Not really. It'll come...slowly and surely.

For now, my job is still to love. To trust. To have patience.

Oh, and to take my gaggle of giggly 12 year old girls to Fuzziwig's Candy Store tomorrow.

I think I (and God) can handle that.