Back home.

I tried to blog the day after graduation, but my thoughts were swirling around too much to be able to write anything of substance. I'm usually not at a loss for words when it comes to journaling, but I sure was a week ago. Graduation and packing up my apartment was just too much for me to process at one time...I'm really glad I didn't end up posting anything. That's not to say that, a week and a few days later, I have it all figured out and I'll be posting something glorious and life changing. No no no. I still have no idea what job this fall holds. If the boarding school in Colorado doesn't work out, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe that's silly, to put all of my eggs in one basket, so to speak, but right now, I don't feel called to apply for anything else. I have a certain peace in that, which I'm enjoying and trying to keep. God's been faithful thus far, and I don't expect him to give up on me now.

Post-grad has been filled with one major project that I've been doing for about a week now. I promised my mama I'd redo her kitchen for Mother's Day, and so I've been delivering on that promse. Stripping wallpaper, removing adhesive, and painting have been my life. Literally, this is all I do all day, unless a random coffee or lunch date happens. (Yes, I do take breaks for lunch and dinner). Some sort of cold has gotten me down the past few days, but I'm DETERMINED to finish. My poor mom hates having her kitchen in disarray...almost all of our kitchen appliances and knick knacks are scattered about in our dining room. WOOF. Home improvement project connoisseur is always a viable career option if nothing else works out...

One thing I've been avoiding like the plague is my room. It's a HOT mess. Literally, there are clothes and books and boxes everywhere. It makes me tired just looking at it, and the unpacking task is so insurmountable that I can't seem to muster up the courage to tackle it. It's becoming a hazard though because as it is, my room is only about 12x12 (very small) and was already full of furniture before I dumped everything from the 'Plex in it. I'm quite ashamed of how much I've accumulated over the years, so as I sort everything out, I'll have various piles-Goodwill, crap that just needs to be thrown away, things I'll need in my next apartment, and things for camp. See how intimidating that is? Yikes.

I have several smaller creative projects I'd like to complete before I head to camp June 12th. Little gifts for various people and such. Some of them are LONG overdue, but I feel like they'll be received at just the right time. Now that I'm away from people I love (for who knows how long), I feel like an extremely personalized gift will be needed during these months that we're apart. Spreading happiness through creativity brings me unspeakable joy and it's something that I want to do my whole life. When you pour yourself into a project, people can really tell and those silly little touches you add end up meaning the most. Sadly, these projects all depend on me having floor space in my room in which to do them so I suppose I really should get to cleaning my room!

Something I've really been pondering in my devotional time as been the concept of what it means to serve Christ. I was researching what it means to be a servant, but then I came across John 15 (the Vine and branches chapter). After reading it, I took it to mean that, because I'm a follower of Christ (which does NOT mean I'm perfect), and because I seek to do His will, I'm not His servant, but His friend? Me, a friend of the Creator? Wow. I don't think I'm even worthy of that title. What IS a friend? In my experience, it's been one who loves, forgives, listens, keeps loving, isn't selfish...basically everything in 1 Corinthians 13 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013&version=NIV). I can say, without a doubt, that Jesus is the best example of a friend I've ever encountered. Praise God he doesn't leave to me just wander around, taking stabs in the dark at how to live my life. As I prepare myself to work at camp again (YAY:) this concept of friendship and servitude towards my fellow counselors and campers is going to be something I'll be thinking about and working on all summer. What does that mean? To me, it means being the first to volunteer for jobs that no one else really wants. It means staying up late to talk to a homesick camper. It may even mean having to clean up one of my worst fears (vomit) in the middle of the night. It means having joy, even in the midst of negative situations. Just as the last verse in this passage says, it means to love.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.